I look at your offer and I have two offers to make of my own—

I can offer you (1) tiefling on fire (karlach from bg3) who will be comparably weird to someone from hyrule AND will take zelda on plenty of adventures. Smarts aren't her strong point, but she's got a big heart.

BUT I can also offer you (1) very old angel (aziraphale from good omens) who is a whole book nerd among other things. A more quiet and calm type of friend.